-Matt Grisham
The 90’s were full of great movies, unsafe toys and unbelievable fun. Kids today will never know the joy or terror of bouncing around a packed house with moon shoes or the terrifying excitement as your sky dance shot at your friends face.
This is our count down of the Coolest and Most Dangerous Toys of the 90’s (Make sure to comment below and let us know what your favorite dangerous childhood toy was!)
10. CREEPY CRAWLER
This easy bake over on crack gave us all the chance to melt, a probably unsafe rubber, into molten material and pour it into tiny bug molds. What could possibly go wrong? This was one of my favorite pass times as a kid, and I’m sure my parents still have goop in their carpet to prove it.
9. Snacktime Cabbage Patch Kid
If Chucky didn’t give you enough nightmares this finger eating doll from hell would. The snacktime cabbage patch doll, which was marketed to have a battery operated mechanical jaw, that could duplicate the movements of chewing. This obviously seemed like a great idea. Evidently the product worked to well and little Snacktime Sally couldn’t tell the difference between her fake food and children’s fingers. Mattel promply discontinued the item in 1997 after many reports of injured children.
8. Super Bubble Plastic
One of the biggest mysteries of the 90’s is what was this magical goo and how big of a bubble could I get. Let me just start off by saying if you didn’t get a chance to play with this amazing goo as a kid, your parents should be arrested. Technicaly if you did get to play with maybe they should. This toy had one of most distinctive smells of our childhood, and no one seemed to care if it was health or not. Kids today can’t look at a food or product, before some overbearing parent jumps on it and wants to know how it was made. Not this stuff, it was more, “oh hey kids here is a cheap probably toxic substance and a straw...good luck!”. Just for those wondering, it’s made with a combination of polyvinyl acetate dissolved in acetone with ethyl acetate plastic added in. Which in short gives off toxic fumes which increase in strength inside that little straw. Your welcome brain cels.
7. The Original Wonder Ball
Before kinder surprise eggs and before these new wonderballs with candy inside, we had the Original Wonderball with a plastic toy inside. The “toy” that separated the dumb from smart, and I still believe was created to thin the heard. The original Wonder Ball released in the mid 90’s with the catchy slogan, “What's In the Wonder Ball?"...be honest you just sang that didn’t you? These amazinly popular candy balls featured a small plastic toy inside that you could only get to by eating the outer plastic shell. This obviously csused issues, in where did the chocolate end and Aladdin’s head begin? How was one to know when to stop eating. This is exactly the issue that was posed and sadly in 1997 Nestle pulled the wonderful Wonderball from the shelf‘s stating they posed a choking hazard to children. RIP Wonderball you will never be forgotten.
6. Captain Planet Wheeler
Who said we weren’t environmentally conscious back in the 90’s. We had our own superhero who taught us how to recycle and save the planet. So how could that go wrong? Well toy makers may have overshot the “Wheeler” action figure a tad bit. I mean really what dip came to the board meeting and said, “You know what our line is missing? A toy that can shoot sparks out of his chest, let’s make that happen.” Well that’s exactly what they did. Wheelers figure had the ability to shoot real sparks from his chest proving fire really does melt the couch. Captain Planet He’s our Heroor is that the Fireman? I really can’t tell from all this smoke inhalation.
5. Dragon Flyz / Skydancers
Dragon Flyz (or Sky Dancers For girls) was the equivalent of releasing a uncontrollable helicopter in your living room. They came with two parts a pull string launch platform and a figure with foam wings. For those of you who don’t remember the idea was to place the figure on the base, pull your little lawnmower cord and shoot the flying beast into the sky. In theory the idea was great and on paper I’m sure it was amazing. In reality, the little figure would mostly just smack you in the face. Hundreds of injury’s were reported, including chipped teeth, scratched corneas and more. Galoob pulled the toys shortly after due to safety issues.
4. Crossfire
The only time it’s acceptable to shoot low powered BB Guns at your friends. This was one of my favorite games as a kid. Setting up this pumped up version of hungry hungry hippos and firing those tiny metal balls at my friends could make my weekend. No safety glasses needed, this is the 90’s, I mean really whats the chances one of the stray balls hits you? Guess it all depends on how you play.
3. Metal Molders Die Cast Factory
Take all the dangers of Creepy Crawler and Easy Bake ovens and add in molten metal, what’s that give you? The most awesome toy from my childhood, the Die Cast factory. Step into the exciting world of metal molding with this amazing machine, where one minute you have metal pellets and the next tiny metal figures. How could you go wrong. Well first off I personally had this, and LOVED IT. Secondly, though it did have a lot of safety features this toy is high on our dangerous list, mainly due to the super hot temps and tiny sharp pieces. Not only did these metal figures come out hot, the small edges razor sharp. In my opinion this toy had great learning factors to it, and helped promote working with your hands. So A+
2. Real Power Tool Set
This 4 in one tool set was perfect for the active child in your life. I remember spending hours in the garage with the tool set trying to make something that didn’t just resemble a dowel rod. The tool had a Wood Lathe (to obviously make a baseball bat), Sander (to clean up that bat), drill press (to...um drill that bat?), and a jigsaw (to cut your piece of crap mini bat in half and start on something new). This dangerous toy had real working power tools all in a nice small easy to pack around format. How could it possible go wong...sorry I meant wrong. I’m missing the tip of my thumb.
1. Moon Shoes
No 90’s unsafe toy list would be complete without MOON SHOES. Yes, those fantastically fun trampolines for your feet, mixed with stilts for uncoordinated children. How could attaching rubber bands to your feet be bad? Well according to the records, twisted ankles, broken legs, and bruised body parts are what you get. These amazingly dangerous shoes were AMAZINLY fun, yet terribly dangerous which is why they are the number one on our top 90’s toy list.
Make sure to check out our other post as well.
https://lind172.wixsite.com/rustyraptor/post/disney-the-poison-apple-to-netflixes-snow-white
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